Hand Soap is the Devil

Ok, not all hand soap. In fact, good old traditional hand soap is quite nice. 1)Warm water 2) soap 3) work soap into a nice lather by thoroughly scrubbing your hands together 4) rinse with warm water. It’s easy. It’s effective. It’s hygienic. The most basic step you can take to keep yourself and the people around you healthy? Wash your hands. But, really wash them. Please.

A few years ago, I went to wash my hands after using the restroom in a public place, let’s say it was the pizza restaurant near my work. I go to dispense a dollop of soap onto my palms and to my complete and utter shock it comes out pre-foamed. This new-fangled soap dispensing technology might impress some people, but not me. Hand soap that comes out pre-foamed seems like a completely American solution to a non-problem. “More people are washing their hands–good! But, how can we make hand washing easier? More convenient? Quicker? How can we turn it into something my corporation can make boat-loads of money selling to people who don’t really need it?”

Washing your hands is a ridiculously important component of public health. The guidelines for washing your hands are specific, yet intuitive. But, the devil’s in the details. You should wash your hands for 15-20 seconds. That’s a long time, but there’s a good reason–it gets the germs off.  Try washing your hands for 20 seconds with hand soap that starts fully lathered. The stuff instantly washes off without a trace.

That’s apparently exactly what some people like about it, though. This random guy with a website, for instance, posted a photo essay extolling the virtues of fancy Dial Complete (only $1.99!). He says, “It feels better, is easier and faster than normal liquid soap. It spreads better and rinses off easier. To make a long story short, I am madly in love with this hand soap. It rules.”

Um, awesome….but, yeah, don’t touch me, thanks.

I’m no germaphobe, either. I just think that washing your hands properly is the least you can do. I think that pre-foamed hand soap lets lazy people think they are washing their hands when they’re not. I just hope that guy never works in the food industry–and that the employees at my pizza restaurant have real soap in the kitchen.